Rabbinic Pastor Nancy
My Journey
It is funny how sometimes, as you look back through life, you suddenly see how the dots of seemingly random events are actually connected to each other. Like many people, my journey has taken unexpected twists and turns. Who knew that an Irish Catholic girl from Connecticut would find love in New York City, start an interfaith family in Tennessee, and make a conversion to Judaism at age 45? Who knew that an audiologist with 36 years of experience would retire at age 63, go to rabbinical school, and become a rabbinic pastor?
As scripture reassures us: “To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).
For instance, early on in my audiology career I returned to graduate school and completed a degree in counseling. This changed the focus of my work helping people with hearing loss to a more person-centered approach. I learned to offer support with both empathy and understanding. I learned to carefully listen for meanings and feelings that were often below the surface.
In one of my counseling courses we created genograms, a type of family tree, so we could recognize the power and influence of individuals on family dynamics and vice-versa. When I finished the tree for our families, however, I was struck by all the white space on my husband’s side. His four grandparents and their families were from Vilnius, a European Jewish cultural center once known as the “Jerusalem of Lithuania.” While his grandparents emigrated to the U.S. before the war, all the other relatives who had remained there were killed in the Holocaust.
I wanted to honor their memory when I agreed to raise our children as Jewish. To keep up with my children, I began taking classes about Judaism and going to services. Even though I was still a practicing Catholic, I slowly began to realize how much more comfortable I was with Judaism than with the religion I grew up with. The tipping point came after my mother’s Catholic funeral. Although it was a moving and beautiful service, I could not wait to come home and say Kaddish for her. I realized then that I was already Jewish in my heart.
After an intense study with the rabbi, it was time for my conversion ceremony. I stood in front of the open Ark, prayed the Shema, and spoke these powerful words from Edmond Fleg:
I am a Jew because my faith demands of me no abdication of the mind.
I am a Jew because my faith requires of me all the devotion of my heart.
I am a Jew because every place where suffering weeps, I weep.
I am a Jew because at every time when despair cries out, I hope.
Over the next 18 years I immersed myself in Jewish studies. I studied Hebrew and Torah chanting and joined the High Holiday choir. I became an adult bat mitzvah, a lay leader for Shabbat mornings, and a Hebrew teacher for adults. I also led Friday afternoon prayers and songs at a nursing home. In my spare time I became a hospice volunteer.
I wondered where all this was going.
While I had dreamed of going to rabbinical school one day, it wasn’t until I heard about Aleph, the Jewish Renewal seminary, that this dream became real. I chose the Rabbinic Pastor path because of its emphasis on pastoral counseling. I felt it bringing me back full circle to my earlier counseling education and the skills I used in my work.
I took the leap.
The learning opportunities in rabbinical school were amazing. Courses ranged from medical ethics to midrash, philosophy to Tanakh, prayer and liturgy to issues of death and dying. As a rabbinic pastor student I served as a chaplain at a large hospital, an oncology center, and a hospice residence. I counseled hundreds of patients, families, and medical staff. When the pandemic hit, I took my spiritual care skills online and provided free short-term support to those struggling with the stress and losses caused by the coronavirus. Through it all, I loved being able to help people and to give them the kind of spiritual care they needed and in whatever ways they chose to define ‘spiritual care’ for themselves.
Now, as ordained Jewish clergy, I am eager to serve Jewish and interfaith couples and families. I know a lot about the barriers and obstacles they often face. And how disenfranchised they may feel in traditional Jewish institutional settings. I want to offer totally inclusive and customized weddings, which reflect each couple’s unique story, values, and traditions. I plan to officiate at other life cycle events: baby namings and welcomings, house blessings, funerals, unveilings, and memorials, as well as the many rituals and ceremonies that we can create to mark significant passages and milestones. I am passionate dedicated about reaching out to those who are unaffiliated and to people who feel ‘spiritual but not religious.” I offer premarital and pastoral counseling, along with online classes that tap into our search for meaning and purpose at all the stages of our lives.
I feel like everything in my life has finally, and beautifully, come together.
Education, Training, and Professional Service
Ordained Rabbinic Pastor, Aleph Ordination Program, the Seminary for Jewish Renewal Clergy, 2022
Serve as a volunteer provider for RUACH: Emotional and Spiritual Support, offering free short-term support online
Doctor of Audiology, Arizona School of Health Sciences, 2007
Master of Science in Counseling, University of Memphis, 1987
Master of Arts in Audiology, University of Memphis, 1980
Bachelor of Arts in Spanish, University of Bridgeport, 1975